31 Jan Thanksgiving: Surviving Family Dinner
Whether you still live at home or heading back to the nest for an annual weekend of familial shade, Thanksgiving is a time for most people to remember the things you’re grateful for. Family, friends, food and some other good F words. But for some it means a ton of questions by family that you strategically attempt to avoid. (Consistently having food in your moth helps.)
“So where are you working now?”
This one’s tricky. Chances are your occupation hasn’t changed drastically in the last year and you probably work in some industry grandma Rose won’t even know exists. You probably tried explaining to her what a Social Media Content Manager is. Good luck with that.
Solution: “Grandma, I work on the internet.” This is the easiest answer to give. I mean, clarify you’re not doing the freak nasty on there, and you should be good.
“Oh sweetie, you’re still single?”
I don’t even understand how this is even okay to say to someone. Yes, it’s family but maybe I WANT to be single. And if you do admit that you’re flying solo, you are immediately a candidate for everyone’s friend of a friend or the odd single guy someone invited for this exact reason. I’ve learned guys don’t get this question half as much as women do.
Solution: “I have some options. There’s Robert, Mark and Lisa. I’m still finding myself right now.” (I’ve tried this. The possibility that you’re gay usually works on shutting distant relatives down and puts the closer ones in their place.)
“When are you going to start having some little ones?”
Okay, if I’ve answered no to the previous question, why on earth would I be thinking about procreating right now? I can barely get by a week without at least 7 bottles of wine. And that’s a good week. I prefer to keep my vacant uterus just like that, vacant.
Solution: “I want to make sure I’m in the right place before I think about having little humans to be responsible for.” They’ll appreciate your maturity and move on to how you’re working on yourself at the moment.
”You’re still in school!?”
Yes. Yes I am. Because my generation has to pay for your generation’s economic mistakes. A Bachelor’s degree is probably equivalent to a high school diploma at this point. Thanks for that, Uncle Tom.
Solution: “Yea, I’m actually working on my second masters degree.” Dilute the conversation with educational terms they won’t understand. It’s like wizardry!
“You’re still living at home?”
Who really wants to pay rent? And given rental prices in Toronto, many of us don’t see an advantage of paying $1200 a month for a big room with a bed on one side and the kitchen on the other. Plus your weekly wine intake and new shoe fund just can’t be cut. Of course, your aunt may not appreciate such honesty.
Solution: “I’m saving up so I can move out by [insert month here].” Chances are, the next time you see these people, they probably have forgotten you said this at all.
In case these don’t work, just keep some wine in your purse. It always helps.
DoUKnow what you’ll be doing for the long weekend? Let us know in the comments below!